8 Realistic Tips That Will Actually Improve Your Sex Life

Sex, is an art, a sport, a titillating experience that should leave those who engage in it, fascinated, satisfied, and utterly captivated. Or, at least that's what we like to tell ourselves.

Like most areas in our respective lives, sex is no different in that there can always be room for improvement.

And like any other aspect of anyone else's life, sex will never be perfect. If we're all being honest with ourselves, our sex lives will most likely never be as mysteriously thrilling and chilling as that of (fictional characters) Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, and our eyes will never roll seemingly out of their sockets, like that porn star who's name is probably Hazel Kitten Something Rainbow Orgasm.

And although movies, television shows, and Chris Brown songs, like to depict sex as being as natural and as fluid as breathing, for some of us (or probably most of us), sex is just not that second nature. But none of this means that sex can't be enjoyable, and full of a real, and obtainable sense of gratification and pleasure, that is out of this world.

We’re here to help ease the anxiety that often accompanies sex with 8 realistic tips that are sure to improve your sex life. So cheers, to better sex!

Tip #1: Cater to your hygiene

Image via Pexels

Sex is one of the most vulnerable acts known to mankind. Considering the close quarters that you're in with your partner, and the fact that you're (most likely) naked, you might find yourself feeling a bit more insecure than usual. And even the most confident of people might notice that they have an oppressing sense of awareness during sex; something which can greatly hinder the fluidity and enjoyment of the act itself. To diminish these concerns, amp up your hygiene routine. Maybe that means a full on beauty routine featuring makeup, or a facial, or a pedicure, or wax, etc. Or maybe it's as simple as hopping in the shower, brushing your teeth, and teasing your kinky curls. Regardless of what your routine, we’ve come to the unanimous decision, that this tip, is probably the most important (and effective) in improving your sex life. Not only because it’s just common courtesy to your partner to keep yourself fresh and clean, but because it’s bound to boost your own confidence.

Tip #2: Choose your location wisely (or rather, choose comfortably)

A part of having "good sex" is establishing and maintaining mutual comfort between both parties. If you're having sex in a place where you're feeling uncomfortable (i.e. your grandmother's basement), then the sex won't even come close to delivering on its full potential. Pick a location where you feel comfortable, confident, and assured. And keep in mind that just because you're comfortable, does not mean that your partner is equally as comfortable in that same space. Whatever your location, ensure that both parties are relaxed and confident in their surroundings.

Tip #3: Foreplay will now, and forever, matter

Don't be that person. You know, the sort person who expects to cook an entire cake in an ice-cold oven, or even worse, the person who cranks up their car in 30-degree weather, and promptly speeds off. Foreplay matters, it has always mattered, and will continue to matter for those who wish to have an enjoyable lovemaking experience.

Tip #4: It's not all about you

Image source: Pexler

As most of us know, sex is generally a two-person act. So, if you're focusing only on your own pleasure either during foreplay or the act itself, it is likely to assume that your partner might leave feeling unsatisfied, bored, or even frustrated. Sex is at it's best, when both parties are being attentive to not only their own needs but the needs and wants of each other. Yes, we know that you’ve been waiting to get your hair pulled and your a** smacked, and yes we know that maybe you’d much rather lay back and receive the oral pleasure you’ve been waiting on. But don’t be selfish; make sure you’re also considering the needs and desires of your partner. After all, mutual pleasure is the best pleasure.

Tip #5: Be honest with yourself

There's no point in lying to yourself, or attempting to convince that you enjoy a sexual act that you don't. As previously mentioned, mutual pleasure comes from both parties being attentive to their own respective needs, and the needs of their partner. But how you can find mutual pleasure, when you yourself are performing an act that you find neither enjoyable or comfortable for? The answer is that you can't. It's perfectly okay if you don't enjoy doing something; don't allow yourself to be unfulfilled, because you're failing to be truthful. Be open with not only yourself, but your partner. And if they cannot accept that you don't enjoy doing something, or they continue to encourage you to do something that you are uncomfortable with, then you might need to reconsider the level of intimacy that you have with said person.

Tip #6: Let the anticipation grow

Don't let the excitement of sex exist only in the bedroom; let your anticipation follow you throughout the day. Amp yourself up by sending flirty pictures and text messages to your partner. Or, if you live together, leave sexy notes for them to find and simmer over during that day.

Tip #7: Eye contact

via Giphy

Uhm hello? Are you in there? Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't tell by the longing stares you're directing at the television. Making eye contact not only lets your partner know that you're engaged in the experience, but it can help to release oxytocin (a hormone that plays a pivotal role in social bonding, sexual reproduction, and childbirth).

Tip #8: Always remember that there is no rulebook for sex.

Sex is a personal experience that is unique to each person and their partner.
Sex is an experience that differs from couple to couple. Don't find yourself trying to fit into whatever twitter is saying is a must for "good sex,” or trying not to be "vanilla,” and even making it a point to attempt that position that your friend said was sssooooo amazing even though you know it’ll give you a cramp in your leg. Do what feels best for you and your partner, because no one is in your sheets, but the two of you.