Can I be an Okay Bitch, Please?

I want to be an okay bitch. Mentally and physically, I want to be okay.

So, when Angela Bassett opened her legendary mouth to say, “Sometimes it’s okay to be an okay bitch. Just as long as you aren’t a basic bitch!” in the release of the first trailer for A Black Lady Sketch Show (ABLSS), I felt validated.

Now, the show hasn’t premiered yet but girl this quote hit home for me. Angela’s character is in a bad bitch support group and says the quote mentioned above. The Black Lady crew gasp in unison when she says it’s okay to be an okay bitch then relax when she makes it clear to never be a basic bitch. Queen Mother spoke a word into my life and every other Black girl’s life. It’s okay to be okay.

For so long, Black women have had to be the baddest bitch in the room.

Never given a chance to take a break and rip the mask off. Being a “bad bitch” entails being strong, tireless and unshakable forces. Since slavery, we have had to hold it down for our community and others. And because of this constant burden, Black women are more likely to deal with stress due to family, discrimination (racism, sexism and homophobia) and safety. Black women are dying from this stress, heart disease and childbirth just to name a few reasons. Our trans sisters are being killed at the hands of hateful, misogynistic, racist and transphobic men. When do we get to be okay? Black women are the backbone of economies and communities but eventually, the back will break.

Aside from physical and mental health factors, we are taught to present ourselves in a particular way in order to be considered a “baddie.”

Yes, I know being a bad bitch is more than it looks. It’s a state of being, a mentality. But in a society that criticizes Rihanna, the Supreme Bad Bitch, for gaining healthy weight (in all the right places, I might add), I can’t help but think it is about looks too. Black women are told we are unattractive and to look like “them” daily. We have to have a slim waist, big butt (but not too big, that’s reserved for the Kardashians), perky breasts and a petite noses with prominent collarbones. Only particular features and skin tones are considered “bad bitch” material. That’s the history of this country and the pressure that weighs on many of us who will never get there. All my life, I’ve been taught to be thinner because society will treat you better if you are. You know, respectability politics. Things have changed since then, but the visuals and “perfect body” shape we consume are still prevalent in media. Nevertheless, it’s okay to be a size 14, 20, 28 or even 36. If you’re healthy, you are an okay bitch, at least, and we don’t need to be breaking our backs to fit into some mold made by others.

Angela’s quote puts into context, hilariously, that it’s okay to be okay.

It is okay to be who you are no matter what. It’s okay to take a break and love yourself. It is far more important than whatever society is screaming at us today.

Therefore, in the middle of Hot Girl Summer, I want to be THAT okay bitch. But never be a basic bitch because Black women are never basic, even if we tried. Hot Girl Summer is here and thanks to Megan Thee Stallion, girls around the globe are finding full lives in themselves, bad bitch or okay bitch. Sometimes it’s okay to be an okay bitch. I’ll hold on that forever.

A Black Lady Sketch Show gives Black girls, like me, a chance to see themselves in all sizes, hair patterns and skin tones, being hilarious, being BRILLIANT.

Be sure to tune into HBO August 2nd for the premiere of A Black Lady Sketch Show. I’ll be live- tweeting!

This article was submitted by Iesha Daboya. Click here to learn how you can have your writing featured on Blk Girl Culture.