Lupita Nyong’o’s 7 Inspirational Life Lessons We Can All Live By
Lupita Nyong’o is undoubtedly one of the most influential and powerful women to have ever dominated the scene, displaying an unwavering passion for what she loves to do best.
Nyong’o’s exceptional acting became known to the world after her breakthrough role in her first feature film as Patsey in Steve McQueen’s 2013 historical drama 12 Years a Slave . She won an Oscar for best supporting actress, making her the first Kenyan-Mexican actress to win an Academy award. Since, her career has taken off and she has continued to break new grounds within the industry. Nyong’o has graced the covers of numerous magazines from Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar to Elle, DuJour and Essence magazine.
Nyong’o’s story is one of both strength and courage, unraveling the intricacies of what if means to be bold and fearless. She’s marked history as the first black actress to become an ambassador for Lancôme, and redefining the true definition of beauty. In 2014, she was named People Magazine's most beautiful women in the world. Her success has been celebrated globally ever since she broke the Hollywood 'starlet' mould by having her big break at the age of 30.
Nyong’o carries herself with such elegance and sophistication, her poise expresses both dignity and grace. Owning the red carpets with her elegant and exquisite fashion styles, she is the epitome of calm self-possession brightening any room with her radiant smile. She exemplifies what it means to be a leading lady, both in film and in real life, using her platform to be a source of empowerment for young people to remain unrelenting in pursuing their dreams.
Here are 7 inspirational life lessons we can all live by from her remarkable story:
1. Let go of self-doubt and walk boldly in the freedom of self-confidence
Self-doubt is a lie that attempts to paint itself as the truth; it channels in thoughts to hold us back from seeing the potential in what we’re capable of accomplishing. It searches out our flaws, reminding us of our weaknesses and uses it to dictate what we can and cannot do.
Nyong’o became very open with sharing her own experiences from dealing with self-doubt. Before being given the role of Patsey, in the high profile film directed by Steve McQueen 12 years a slave, Nyong’o was still at the very early stages of her acting career and only had a few months left till she graduated from the Yale School of Drama. McQueen gave her the most prominent female role, although he could’ve potentially gone with an actress already in the mainstream. He ended up choosing Nyong’o, not just because of her exceptional acting skills but the unique qualities and attributes she had that exemplified a promising success in her future career.
The film was Nyong'o's first major audition as a graduating student from the Yale School of Drama. This was all good news and would be the case for any other actors in her position. But that joy she felt was still crippled by her self-doubts and her inability to see her own capabilities. She felt pressure to meet certain expectations and held on to the fear of not being able to display the skills they had hoped for.
“I was panicking a lot about it, certain that I would fail miserably at the role because I had no experience working on such a big film with such big people. It was bound to be the biggest challenge of my life.”
In conversation with The Texas Conference for Women, Nyong’o expressed her feelings to her advisor about how she imagined ‘forgetting her lines, being the weak link of the cast, getting fired and replaced, being blacklisted in Hollywood even before I could be on a list.’ Although she was down with thinking about every and anything that could possibly go wrong with the whole production, her advisor then asked her the simple question “And then what happens next?”
This really gave Nyong’o the chance to just re-think things into perspective. She laughed it off at the end and came to the realisation that regardless of what happens life still goes on. “I felt such a relief in that moment and free enough from the demon that was my self-doubt, that I could actually go away and do the work that I needed to do to prepare for the role.” I came across a quote that read, ‘what holds you back is not what you are. It’s what you think you aren’t.’
2. When you dream you can create new possibilities
Nyong’o featured in the Disney film Queen of Katwe, a biopic about Ugandan chess prodigy Phiona Mutesi. The story takes us on a journey through the life of a young girl from the Kampala slum of Katwe in Uganda, Phiona discovers an unlikely talent (chess) and went on to becoming an international chess star. Although Nyong’o was not the central character she played the role of Harriet, Phiona’s mother.
Through the story portrayed, Nyong’o reminds us to believe in the power of our dreams and passion. “This is a film that speaks of the power of giving children an opportunity to dream,” she said. “And how it doesn’t just take the dreamer, it takes the community around them. It’s important for people in power to recognise and facilitate the support for children, for young people.”
Nyong’o empowers others to pursue the passion inside them that makes them feel alive and captivated in what they do best. "How important it is to find something you're passionate about and then to find the support to pursue what you're passionate about."
“At times, I’ve had to remind myself why I love acting. It’s not because of the recognition. I love it because I enjoy experiencing the world through other people’s eyes.” Nyong’o displays her passion in everything she does. When you put your passion in what you do best you create a masterpiece. And that alone has made Nyong’o, the exceptionally talented woman we know her to be today.
3. Your goals, dreams and aspirations are all valid. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Witnessing Nyong’o’s huge success now, who would’ve thought that something so great could’ve come out of a young black African woman who was taught that the only way to success was through conventional pathways and that a career in acting wasn’t a “viable career path” for a young woman growing up in Nairobi, Kenya, in the ’80s.
“Nobody I knew around me was acting for a living. In school, it wasn’t one of the professions you learned about. It didn’t help that we only had one TV station and it aired very boring programming as a child.”
In an interview article with AnOther Magazine, Nyong’o revealed how her lack of confidence, paired with societal and family pressure, meant she was only able to study the mechanics of film rather than the craft of acting in the first place. She went on to graduate with a degree in film and African studies from Hampshire College in Massachusetts.
“I definitely had aunts come to me and say, ‘When are you going to do something serious?’ It came from ignorance and it came from love and from fear. I understand that now, but the reason why none of that ended up being my story is because my immediate family was very supportive, I have very unconventional parents who supported all of our interests. They figured out what we were interested in and they would encourage it, without any regard to how it might one day be monetised.” It was upon her arrival at the Yale School of Drama that Nyong’o was finally able to embrace her childhood dreams.
You can either believe in your own dreams and do the things you love, or listen to others project their insecurities unto you in the form of “wanting the best for you” and you chasing their dreams to keep them happy rather than yours. Those around you may not believe in your vision, and may be unwilling to support the dreams you believe in. Regardless hold on to those who do believe in your dreams, they’ll create the support system that’ll help nurture your passion and gifts.
4. Confront your fears with the correct attitude
No one’s exempted from those little hits life sometimes throws at us. Nyong’o acknowledges that we may not always be able to avoid them all, hence why it’s important for us to know how to seek after strength in everything we do, allowing it to be that driving force to keep us moving forward. “Our challenges in life have the equal chance of building us up or breaking us down, depending on how we absorb and interpret them”
“Yes, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. But I think the power of that statement lies in how much you are willing to believe it.”
A lot of times we don’t really ever get the chance to see the little battles those around us go through and what they had to face behind closed doors before their come up. How we confront our challenges and fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives.
5. Love and embrace the skin you’re in
Nyong’o is an outspoken supporter of dark skinned beauty, and has been vocal about discrimination against darker skin across cultures. Nyong’o was often teased and taunted about her skin, and prayed to God that she would one day wake up a lighter skin tone. She also mentioned that there was a point, where she struggled with a skin condition that led her mum having to seek herbal remedies to help treat it.
Nyong’o’s struggles with her insecurities at the time made her undervalue her worth and question her own beauty.
Growing up, Nyong’o did not see people on the screens who looked like her or had the same darker complexion. She shared the effects TV advertising had on her self-confidence, where the message she interpreted was lighter skin was associated with success.
“You see yourself clearer when you see yourself in someone else. That’s why it’s important to have representation in the media. I am grateful to be a dark-skinned woman with a platform. I definitely see more people that look like me in the media than I’ve ever seen before and I am delighted to represent for people who see themselves in me”
Nyong’o wants us all to know that we shouldn’t define our beauty by societal standards, hence why she now strongly advocates for young black girls to love and accept their beauty irrespective of their skin colour.
She wants to be a role model for young black women to also recognise beauty is in their actions, not just their appearance. The colour of your skin isn’t tied to your level of success.
Nyong’o has also recently announced the release of her children’s book “Sulwe” which means “star” in Luo, her native language. The book is dedicated to every young black girl in the world and will address the issue of colorism and the discrimination that those with darker skin often face.
444.4k Likes, 5,042 Comments - Lupita Nyong'o (@lupitanyongo) on Instagram: "I wrote a book! It's called #Sulwe! This is the cover! I'm thrilled to share it with you. Sulwe is..."
She decided to write it back in 2014, after giving a speech at the Essence Black Women in Hollywood awards. “I started to realize that there was a demographic that really needed to hear this message but wouldn’t hear my speech. I wanted to get to kids before they reach an age where the world is telling them they are not as valuable.”
Nyong’o also became the first black woman to represent Lancôme, bringing a new face to the brand and redefining the definition of beauty in what she described as “the idea that beauty should not be dictated, but should instead be an expression of a woman’s freedom to be herself.”
6. Understanding your heritage, your roots and your ancestry is an important part of carving out your future
Nyong’o was born in Mexico City and from the age of one, moved back to her parents native in Kenya where she grew up for most of her childhood and teenage years. Nyong’o doesn’t shy away from representing her roots, which has played a significant role in her life and has become the centrepiece of what she stands for and who she is today.
Hollywood saw one of its greatest success at its first marvel superhero film with a Black director and predominantly Black cast. A remarkable moment in history that would go down as one of the most revolutionary experience the world has ever encountered. Topping the charts amongst the highest-grossing films of all time. Nyong’o expressed her joy in how well the film Black Panther, celebrated African culture in which she starred as Nakia.
“It’s so liberating. We come from a continent of great wealth, but a continent that has been assaulted and abused very often. What colonialism did was it rewrote our history and our narrative, and our global narrative is one of poverty and strife, and so the wealth of the continent is very seldom seen on such a global scale.”
“So what this film does is it looks cool, it looks futuristic, but it’s drawing from ancient cultures. The diversity from this film is specifically from the continent.” The film brought to light various themes, showcasing what it represents.
“We were creating an aspirational world where African people are in charge of their own destiny. And that really appealed to me and had the little girl inside me jumping for joy. To just have African people, Black people, at the center of that narrative is so exciting,” Nyong’o told E! News.
During Nyongo’s episode of Henry Louis Gates‘s PBS show Finding Your Roots, she learned more about her family’s activism dating back generations. “My father raised us to stand up for what we believe in and to fight for what is right. We were always told, ‘You need to make a difference in the world.’ I live with that insistence all the time.”
“Being able to use my platform to expand and diversify the African voice, I feel very passionate about that. It feels intentional and meaningful.” No matter where life takes you, don’t forget where you came from.
7. Acquire the principles of integrity
Integrity is defined as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. Similarly another source defines it as the practice of being honest and showing a consistent and uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values.
In conversation with DuJor magazine on her award-winning role in her first major breakthrough film 12 years a slave, Nyong’o discussed the importance of her implementing the values of integrity within various aspects of her life especially in her acting career.
“I would love to have a career that’s governed by the material; I always want to be part of stories that I feel are worthwhile. And they don’t all have to be as heavy as 12 Years a Slave. I do my best work when I feel conviction to say something through the character I play. I always want to have integrity and not compromise that.”
Integrity is a major quality that I believe tends to get downplayed quite a lot, probably because it really tests the true character of a person and exposes who they really are. “All my conscious life, my father has fought for what he believed in, even when it was highly inconvenient. Integrity is a quality I insist on in my relationships because of his example.”
Integrity is choosing your thoughts and actions based on values rather than personal gain. The things you do when no one is looking are the things that define you.
