Seven Tips To Get You and Your Partner Through The Holiday Season

With the twinkling lights that are strung from tree to tree and lamppost to lamppost, your melanin glitters. Metallic dresses, plum colored lips, decadent sweaters, children laughing, rich wines, Mariah Carey, and bellies full of family recipes, the holidays really can seem like the most wonderful time of the year.

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But, as the holiday season ushers in a period of flushed cheeks, festive singing, and jolly, it brings with it a series of dilemmas.

For many couples, the holidays are one of the most stressful times of the year. From year end projects, ending school semesters, parties, shopping, budgeting, and of the course the day to day responsibilities, the holidays can bring unsolicited stress.

One of the most prevalent issues is the managing of finances. Whether you’re college students, or seasoned business professionals, finances can bring a whirlwind of trouble to a relationship. But, coupling the holidays with finances, is an entirely different kind of beast.

Determining what gifts to buy, what wrapping paper to put those gifts in, holiday décor, travel expenses, food expenses, winter wardrobes for those oh so merry parties, and your usual bills, life can seem overwhelming.

Oh, and let us not forget the stress of determining where you'll be and who's family you'll be spending the season with.

Unless you're incredibly fortunate to have a relationship where both of your families are delightfully close and spend holidays together, you'll most likely find yourself in a situation where you're declining one holiday invitation for another.

And let's thoughtfully remember that the holidays are some of the most strenuous times for mental health. Depression has alarmingly high rates during the holiday season for a number of reasons (social isolation, grieving, financial burden, etc.), and regardless of your relationship status, mental health is a battle that many people can't escape.

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With all of this being said, we’ve developed seven tips that will hopefully assist you and your partner as you deck the halls this season:

1. Create a Holiday Budget 

Examine the monthly income of both yourself and your partner. This is a vital step for holiday success. Whether you’re a college student utilizing your annual semester refund check, or you’re a working professional, account for the regular monthly necessities such as bills, toiletries, gas, savings, etc. Then, create a separate budget for gifts, travel expenses, food, etc.

2. Create a Family Calendar

Compromise with your partner on who's family you'll be spending time with on each holiday of the season. The creation of calendar, or schedule, can help so that both families receive equal amounts of time.)

3. Create a Deadline for Gifts

Last minute gift shopping is a true danger. Often times the bright lights and shiny displays of stores can have you picking up things you never intended to purchase. Set a deadline for the purchasing of gifts so you don't overspend. It might also be helpful to set a gift limit so that you won't accumulate a large number of purchases over the season.

4. Remember that the holiday season is time for you and your partner as well, not just for family and friends.

Don't get so wrapped up in the hustle and bustle that you don't take the time out to enjoy your partner. Create a fun holiday tradition with them, embrace the ceremonies of your preferred religion, enjoy a holiday drink, whatever you do, just remember that this is time for the two of you to create memories that you can cherish.

5. Complete work-related and school-related projects as early as possible.

Nothing is worse than finding yourself with a workload during the holidays. Try to complete any projects or assignments as quickly and efficiently as possible, so that you can enjoy all the joys this season can offer.

6. Volunteer

Sometimes the best way to eliminate stress is to look outside of your personal environment [or, at least that’s according to a 2015 study]. Helping others can very often be helpful to yourself. Try serving a soup kitchen, volunteering at a local children's hospital, or organizing a gift drive.

7. Develop Ways to Treat your Holiday Depression

Don't be afraid to communicate to your partner any feelings and symptoms of depressions. Give them the opportunity to be a support system for you. Seek professional help when you need it [if you don't have access to in person therapy sessions, try  the TalkSpace app]. And if you develop suicidal thoughts, immediately contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

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While this article started out running through a list of holiday season downers, we’d like to end it by stating that the holidays are really some of the best times of the year. Make sure to enjoy the break from school or work, and embrace not only your family, friends, and tradition, but time with your partner. Chug that eggnog, throwback that holiday shot, and enjoy yourself all season long.