4 Ways to Find the Beauty In Change
There are times when we pause long enough to observe our lives…
Here, we take into account our romantic relationships, the company we keep, and even the career paths we're on- and if we're not happy in a specific area, our wellbeing can take a hit. If it gets to this point, something needs to go. This, of course, is easier said than done.
I know when it comes to admitting something is no longer serving, it can be harder to let go than you think. It's difficult to walk away and admit the career path you're on isn't serving you anymore. It's tough to realize that friends who have been around forever, just didn't make the cut to the next stage of your life. It's scary to admit the relationship that once brought you so much happiness, isn't igniting you like you thought. In summary, it's f***ing rough. But I realized there are different steps you can take to make it less excruciating and also help you see the silver lining in every ending.
First step: The hardest.
Admit that it's time to part ways. I don't mean vent about it and then go back to the same shitty circumstances; I mean actually saying out loud, "This is not working!"
There are times when we run from the truth because we're honestly not ready to handle it. We know the amount of work it's going to take to pick ourselves up, and who has the time for that right now??? But, coasting and half-existing in spaces that can no longer serve you will stunt and potentially impact your growth and mental health. But here is a step most people neglect- give yourself time to sit with your feelings. Cry, yell, get angry, if you need to- as long as you let it out. This will help the healing process and allow space for what is to come.
Show yourself grace.
I know my number one go-to when I get myself into situations I regret later is always: what were you thinking? And half the time, I don’t know. I was thinking as best as I could at the time and that alone means I deserve grace. There is no reason to get mad at yourself for anything, it’s an even bigger reason to celebrate. You are learning about what does and does not work for you! What you will and will not accept! And what boundaries you are setting so they won’t get crossed. You are learning to put yourself first and realize that it’s time to be honest with yourself and allow what you truly search for in life to find you.
Reflect on the lessons learned.
This is my favorite step because I love tracking my growth. It might sound cliché but find 3 lessons that this situation helped you learn. It could be you learned to be more patient, or it could be you learned how to draw boundaries- whatever it is find 3 takeaways from it. This helps change your perspective to see the light even in the dark.
Take the negatives and flip it to make a better picture.
After you've found three positives, now it's time to focus on the negatives - but not for too long. This step is to help you identify what caused things to come to an end and what you did not like. Write down a list. When you're done, write down the opposites of those things - because those things are what you want! Okay, for example – If you hated your work environment, write down everything you disliked about it. Let the new list be a guide to help you with your new search! Hated the set office hours? Apply for jobs with better hours or a more flexible work schedule. If you know what you don't like this can help guide you a lot faster to things you do! If you don't intentionally seek out what you do want moving forward, you will keep putting yourself in uncomfortable situations that do not serve you.
You got this.
All things must come to an end. Some sooner than later and when that happens, we have to be prepared to do the work to heal in times of change. What are some ways that you learn to let go and prepare for change?
Article by J’Taime Weaver.
