How To: A Succesful D*ck Appointment

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Isn’t this the part we all dread and are yet simultaneously itching for? The moment where after days, weeks, or months of communication, dates, and sexually charged kisses, you finally schedule your first d*ck appointment. Now we don’t necessarily mean your first d*ck appointment ever, just your first with your new partner. Yes, everything is new and exciting, and for that reason, also nerve-wracking. You’re suddenly plagued with questions like “to shave, or not  to shave?”, “how about a wax?”, “will Summer’s Eve really throw off my pH balance?”, “should I bring pajamas, or just lingerie?”

Well, never fear, we have not only eight tips to ensure that you have a successful d*ck appointment, but a brief list of some essentials to keep in your bag.  

Tip #1: Hygiene Is Your Friend

Sex is one of the most intimate experiences you will have with another human being. Every smell, every hair, and every texture in that moment will be accessed by your partner. So, we recommend that you really take your time when bathing, showering, shaving, waxing, styling and or washing your hair (no need to feel obligated to get rid of pubic hair, but do make sure that down there is clean). Don’t be afraid to whip out that special bottle of body spray or perfume,  or use that coconut body butter you keep sitting in the back cabinet of your bathroom for “special occasions”

Tip #2: Conversation Matters

Contrary to the title of this appointment, it shouldn’t be totally centered around the impending coitus. Take the time out to briefly go over any lingering expectations or concerns. While we hope that you and your partner have at least a generally agreed upon idea of what to expect for the evening ahead, a quick run through prior to can’t hurt.

Tip #3: Remember That It Doesn’t Have To Be Perfect

While we advocate for Black women to have both enjoyable and empowering sexual experiences, we would also like to remind you that all of your sex won’t be perfect. Maybe you’ll bump heads, or they’ll fumble with your bra, or maybe the dreaded passing of gas will happen, maybe you won’t orgasm, or maybe they won’t orgasm, and maybe you’ll even use teeth when you shouldn’t. Regardless of what fumbles do or don’t happen, we implore you not to put so much pressure on the first d*ck appointment. Life isn’t designed to be perfect and neither is sex, but that doesn’t mean that both can’t be a worthwhile experience.

Tip #4: Have An Agreed Upon Time Frame

Ladies, the last thing we want to do is overstay our welcome. Sure, you might want to say an extra night or two, or three, or forever, but we have to be considerate of our partner. Unless you’re invited to stay an extra however long, we recommend that your stay should be the length of the previously agreed upon time. Despite the intimate relationship you may have with someone, you should always be respectful of their time and of their personal space.

Tip #5: Snooping Is A No-No

Speaking of respecting someone’s personal space (and place), please do not find yourself rummaging through their refrigerator, closet, their cell phone when they run to the bathroom, dresser, or their hidden under the bed high school yearbook from 2012. When you enter into someone’s home or bedroom, you’re entering their oasis, their sanctuary that they can keep separate from the general population. This admission should be respected and your actions that follow should be considerate.

Tip #6: Don’t Forget Your Birth Control

Haven’t we all been there before (well, unless you’re on anything and everything but the patch and the pill), you’re gearing up for a vacation, a move, or road trip, and you suddenly remember “my birth control!” While it’s always inconvenient to forget your birth control, forgetting your birth control when you’re sexually active can be life changing. Whatever you have to do to remember to bring, or apply your birth control, do it.

Tip #7: Have Common Interests Outside Of Sex

While sex might be the main event, it’s important to have something that can follow up. Maybe you have common movie interests, or perhaps you’re both into Ari Lennox’s smooth soulful tunes, you might share a love of Italian cuisine, or maybe you’re both gym rats. No matter what your common interests are, make sure to expound upon them after and maybe even before the d*ck part of the appointment.

Tip #8: Safety First

And we’re not talking about condoms (however, we hope you and your partner are). Though we’d like to assume that your partner is safe, reliable, and trustworthy, you can never be too careful. Make sure to share not only your location with friends, but the name of the person you’re spending the evening with.

Now that we’ve given you our 8 almost sure fire tips to ensuring a successful (and comfortable) d*ck appointment, let’s move on to the essentials you need in your bag:

·         Toothbrush

·         Breath mints

·         Vaginal Cleansing Wipes

·         Perfume

·         Condoms

·         Two Extra Pair of Panties

·         An Easy Outfit (i.e. a dress, leggings and an oversized sweater, etc.,)

·         Chapstick

·         Phone Charger

·         Lube

We hope this list of tips and essentials was helpful in your appointment scheduling journey; and remember, you got this!

Source: https://twitter.com/chloeandhalle