The Short Guide to Dating Apps
Can we be honest for a minute? It’s 2019, going on 2020, who doesn’t utilize dating apps and social media when searching for a partner?
Sure, we all wish we could have a movie-esque meeting with a potential partner (bumping into them in a crowded coffee shop on a rainy New York Sunday, or grooving along at the same concert when suddenly your eyes meet and you’re exchanging flirtatious glances, or getting stopped after class to be asked for a study date), but we have to be realistic. What are the chances that you’ll serendipitously meet someone in your local town or city, that you have a booming connection with it?
It could (and does) happen of course, but often times, it’s a chance that feels slim to none. Dating apps and social media however, offer millions of people the opportunity to connect with those, that they otherwise wouldn’t have the opportunity to encounter (something that is usually due to logistics, preferences, and or, geography).
The use of these applications is at an all-time high, but many people still have difficulty navigating them and using them to actually form viable romantic and or, sexual, relationships (cue the online dating horror stories).
Using dating apps can seem intimidating, but we’re to help. First thing’s first, let’s take a dive into which app is a good match for you:
Source: Nicole Byer “In It to Win It” GIF by Tenor
1. Bumble (This app, which boasts over 50 million users, allows for women to make the first move. If you're looking for an app that can give you a sense of empowerment and self-control as a woman, then this might be it for you!)
2. Tinder (We know, we know. Tinder has a notoriously bad reputation for being a hookup only app, but we'd like to debunk that. With over 30 billion matches made, Tinder is one of the world's leading dating applications. While it can seem like the hell hole of dating apps, there are hundreds of people who have credited Tinder for helping them to develop romantic relationships [at least according to BuzzFeed])
3. Match (The good ole tried and true. Match is one of the oldest online dating services [launched in 1995]. And with each passing year, it becomes more and more reputable. Serving 25 countries in more than 8 different languages, this app prides itself on offering its users the opportunity to form genuine love connections.)
4. BLK (This newly created dating app is geared towards connecting single black people. While Blk’s dating pool is not as large as its competitors, it's exclusivity, unlimited likes, and personalized group profiles make it a worthy candidate.)
5. The League (If you're attracted to career, intellect, and ambition, then this is the app for you. The League offers 1 month, 6 month, or 12 month memberships, which allow users to not only meet a match, but THE match. Set your age, height, distance, education, religious, and ethnic preferences, as you aim to form a savvy connection.)
Now, let's talk about the ins and outs of setting up your profile:
Source: Craig Robinson portraying Daryl Philbin from The Office
When creating your profile, lead with your best photo. And by best photo, we mean the one with a clear face shot (steer away from the use of excessive filters. It’s always best to let your natural features shine through, even if they might be the source of insecurity). Whether the picture features you smiling, or giving a seductive gaze, potential matches want to see your face. We also recommend that you feature at least one clear full body image.
Refrain from photoshop. Yes, we know, it’s tempting to alter your appearance to meet sexist and unrealistic societal standards, but don’t. Be honest and present yourself in all of your authenticity. It’s better to meet someone who is attracted to you for who you are, rather than an altered version of yourself.
Be upfront in what you're looking for. While there's no need to include a checklist on your profile, or a series of abrasive rejections (i.e. "No f*ck boys! NOT LOOKING FOR SEX! If you don't have a job, DO NOT SWIPE RIGHT"), you should be forthcoming in describing what exactly it is that you're hoping to accomplish by using said app (i.e. “Hi! I’m looking for a romantic relationship with someone who is ideally vegetarian and career oriented”, or, “While I’m not interested in a romantic relationship, I am searching for a sexual partner, or partners, who are interested or experienced with BDSM and or, roleplay” etc.,).
Share some of your hobbies either via picture or in your profile description. Give people a quick glimpse at your life outside of romance (i.e., “I’m a big fan of Inuyasha and Boku No Hero! Generally my favorite animes are shonen, but I’m open to all genres” or, “I love to dance. I'm a classically trained ballerina, and although I’m not a professional dancer, it’s still one of my passions”)
And lastly, here are a few tips to follow, so that you can have a healthy dating app experience:
Source: Excited Teyana Taylor GIF by VH1
Focus on one app at a time!
Quality Matches over a Quantity of Matches.
Don't be spend hours each day swiping in hopes of a potential match. Spend no more than 10 to 15 minutes a day swiping (studies have shown that using social media in excess can lead to social media addictions [which can have characteristics that resemble those of alcohol and or, other substance addictions] and mental health declines).
Meet in person! Remember, you (most likely) downloaded this app so that you could find a romantic or sexual partner, not a pen pal. Once you feel comfortable, set up a casual (and PUBLIC) meeting.
Tell us.. what have your online dating experiences been like? Do you have any online dating Dos and Don’ts
